


Longing

by madmeridian



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, mello lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:14:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26904220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madmeridian/pseuds/madmeridian
Summary: Near faces a hard truth after Mello visits him again.
Relationships: Mello | Mihael Keehl/Near | Nate River, Stephen Gevanni | Stephen Loud/Near | Nate River (One-Sided)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 49





	Longing

A new message beeps on the screen. Matt had gotten in the habit of sending Near helpful little updates, under Mello’s nose, of course. Near likes to know where they are, at least when they’re in the same area as him. 

Usually he knows anyway. Mello has gotten into his own habit of contact, usually threatening his way into whatever building Near is in. They’re both the same, wanting to keep an eye on each other. 

Matt’s message is short and to the point. Rightfully so, Matt has gotten tired of his and Mello’s rivalry. He is always technically on Mello’s side, but he talks to Near when he can. It’s rare that it happens. This is not one of those times. Matt can only afford to send a concise, direct warning.

_‘In the area. He’ll be visiting soon.’_

Near never sent anything back when Matt sent these ones. He was certain that Matt probably knew that he was grateful for the warnings. 

Especially more recently, since Mello was becoming more and more agitated with each visit. 

Near wouldn’t lie to himself. He knew exactly why. 

He’d started a relationship with one of his employees, Stephen. Mello had found out one visit and had grown increasingly irritated following it. Near couldn’t fathom why Mello might be upset by it. He might wager a guess that maybe Mello was angry that Near had found a relationship before Mello had. Knowing Mello, it was likely. Small things Near did could set him off. 

It was how it had always been and always would be. 

As such, Near had turned to sending his employees away when Mello inevitably got into the building somehow. If he sent away Gevanni alone, Mello would know that he was doing it specifically because of him and get enraged. It was better to send them all away and just let Mello think that he wanted to speak alone. 

It was two days after Matt's message that Mello came. Near was by himself in the main room of their headquarters, making a building out of playing cards. 

Near listened to the slight sound of Mello’s boots against the floor. Mello always visited after the sun was down and he could blend into the shadows of the alleys with his dark leather clothes. Near had sent his team members early each night after receiving the message, waiting for Mello to appear. 

"I'd have thought you'd been back to London," Mello said viciously when he walked in. 

"I'm not interested in taking that case," Near responded, unsurprised. "They can solve it, if they tried instead of relying on me. Or perhaps you could take it." 

"I'm not interested in taking your leftovers."

"I was simply suggesting," Near said innocently. "I know that your skills could be put to better use than that anyway."

"Shut the fuck up." He could hear Mello pacing quietly behind him. "I know Matt tells you what we do. Our cases."

"And he tells you about my cases," Near said evenly, placing another playing card on his current building project. "A fair deal, I think."

"It's not fair," Mello snarled. "Matt knows more about me than you. He tells you more."

That wasn’t a lie. Matt often shared his worries about Mello. Or funny stories. It made Near’s chest ache when Matt recounted one of those, wheezing into the phone and trying to muffle himself so that Mello wouldn’t hear. Near wished he could be there when they happened. 

_Not possible. Focus._

"I'm afraid there isn't much going on in my life to be interested in."

"No? Last I heard, you're still dating that one agent of yours, aren't you?" Near couldn't see Mello's face, but he knew that his blue eyes were narrowing, hardening. A fearsome stare, if Near were to actually turn around and see it. 

"That's none of your business." 

"Isn't he a lot older than you?" Mello sneered, "What are you even getting out of it?"

"Emotional fulfillment." 

Mello scoffed behind him, which was expected. As far as he was concerned, Mello thought he was an emotionless robot, an insult he'd hurled constantly since they were younger. Near was no robot and certainly not emotionless, but Mello had a way of ignoring that. 

"Emotional fulfillment, really? Isn't he way older than you?"

"I didn't realize that my relationships were your concern."

"They aren't."

"Then why are you asking about them?"

Mello was silent. An unusual thing. Near finally deigned to look at him and found Mello’s usual heated gaze on him.

"You're a little shit, you know."

"All I did was ask you a question," Near said, blinking slowly. 

This was a surprise. Normally Mello would've just responded back with his own carefully crafted jibe at Near. Not a basic insult. How unlike him. 

Mello scoffed again. Near could see him getting nervous. They were both painfully aware of his slip up. 

Something was bothering him about Near’s relationship. 

It was of no importance to Near. Mello could sort out his own issues. 

“If you have nothing but banter, I suggest you leave and quit wasting our time.”

“Oh fuck off, Near. What are you doing other than playing with your toys?” 

“I’m working a case, obviously.” 

“Bullshit. You were sitting here waiting for me, weren’t you? Matt did tell you we were here, after all.” 

_Yes. I’ve sat here every night, waiting for you. And for what, Mello?_

“It’s all irrelevant,” Near lied. “If you have nothing, leave.” 

“Is that what you really want, Near?”

Near froze for a second before placing another card down. Mello was not stupid and probably caught that, but it didn’t matter much. They both knew well enough that Near wished Mello had stayed, and perhaps Mello wished that too. 

But Near could not tell and would never ask. 

“Hey, Ne-“ 

“I told you to go for the night,” Near interrupted irritably. Stephen had appeared in the doorway, looking between Mello and Near suspiciously. Near could see his hand drifting towards his gun. 

“I was worried about you,” he said. Mello scoffed loudly, scowling more deeply than Near had ever seen him do. An impressive feat, since Near had been on the receiving end of most of Mello’s scowls. 

“There’s nothing to worry about,” Near said, eyeing Mello suspiciously. “We’re just talking.” 

“I was just leaving,” Mello sneered. “You’ve made it clear I’m not welcome.” 

“You’re the one who left in the first place.” Near doesn’t know why, but the words come tumbling out. “You’re always welcome here, though.” 

Mello’s eyes briefly widened, before settling back into their usual fiery glare. He glanced over at Stephen one more time before he stalked out just as swiftly as he had come. 

“What was that all about?” Stephen asked, walking over to him. Near shook his head and let out a quiet, tired breath. 

“Nothing. We should go to bed.” 

Stephen smiled, and Near offered his own fake little smile too. He hadn’t done anything, but he felt a vague sense of dread leading the man on like this. They’re together, but not really. It’s fake, and Near has reminded himself a million times over, even back when he was sure it was real. 

No matter how hard he tried to forget, his heart belonged to someone who’d walked out on him time and time again.

**Author's Note:**

> soooo... this is from an anon on tumblr: Idea for a Meronia fanfic, what if Near decides to date Gevanni and Mello would be jealous consider he was the one who refused to work with Near and had left the Wammy’s? 
> 
> Hopefully you like it though I twisted things a bit and ended up with Near pining as well as jealous Mello. I’ve never written Gevanni/Near before so I didn’t focus on it much (sorry). This also ended up much more angsty than I was originally planning but I kind of liked it! 
> 
> And for my consistent readers (I love you guys btw), I’m hoping to have another fic out soon (another Expectations related one!) I’m very shocked at how many people wanted more Expectations stuff! (although just more than 1 was a surprise to me lol) My midterms are in a couple of weeks, but things should be a little better after and I’ll write more if I can!!
> 
> Also, I’m too lazy to link it here, but my tumblr is linked on my ao3 profile! it’s the same as my ao3 username if you don’t want to go look for it!
> 
> Anyways, thank you so much for reading! Any kudos or comments are appreciated and I will do my best to respond to any comments <3333


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